Simon Kinberg to Write, Produce “Battlestar Galactica” Movie

Frak. Everything.

Yeah….so I’m not mixing words with this one, because I saw “Dark Phoenix,” and know exactly what Simon Kinberg is NOT capable of when it comes to telling stories.

According to Variety, Kinberg will be writing and producing the rebooted “Battlestar Galactica” film for Universal.

“‘Battlestar Galactica’ is one of the holy grails in science fiction, and I couldn’t be more excited about bringing something new to the franchise, while honoring what’s made it so iconic and enduring,” Kinberg said in a statement. “I’m so grateful that Dylan and my partners at Universal have trusted me with this incredible universe.”

I. Am. Not. Amused.

Let’s take a look at Kinberg’s writer’s credits. Sure, he’s produced on some films we really enjoy- like “The Martian“- but we really can’t see Ridley Frakking Scott listening to a creative input suggestion from the guy who wrote “X-Men: The Last Stand.” Seriously.

“xXx: State of the Union,” “Fan4stick,” “X-Men: Days of Future Past,” “X-Men: Apocalypse,” “Jumper,” and “This Means War.” Admittedly, there are two writing credits we enjoy also- “Mr. and Mrs. Smith,” and “Sherlock Holmes” (the Robert Downey Jr. one).

But you mean to tell us, that Universal Pictures is GIVING one of their highly regarded (and successful, we might add) properties to THIS GUY to write? It’s bad enough we have to deal with Kinberg picking up the Singer “Logan’s Run” reboot project, but to see a franchise I personally love so much end up someone who couldn’t understand the difference between making Cyclops annoying rather than an outright asshole doesn’t fill me with much confidence.

To go from the Ronald D. Moore and co vision of a perfectly rebooted franchise to….this….even on paper, is like a slap in the face from a cold, cold Cylon had.

This story is developing, and we’ll keep you updated.