Official “Madame Web” Poster Screams Adult Film Parody

We were hoping against hope that the upcoming “Madame Web” movie was going to be good. Or at the very least, watchable. Every time we see ‘official’ artwork from the film, we have to reset our expectations. The first look at star Dakota Johnson suited up came from a bottle of OceanSpray cranberry juice, and it….looks bad.

The color and design is interesting, right? It’s fine, right? And yes, obviously this is just packaging and not how she’ll actually look on screen, right? We hate to say the official poster looks like someone’s bad photoshop project, but, that’s exactly how it looks. Some of the best online reactions to it include “What in the ‘Charmed’ CW world is this?!”

Which then brings us to an international poster featuring the rest of the Spider-Persons cast. [Just because people seem to get upset when I say Spider-Persons, lemme explain why. There are multiple Spider-Woman(s) and Spider-Girl(s), as well as Spider-Man(s), so why the hell not just call them Spider-Persons?] It’s been making the rounds and it….resembles an adult film parody more than a Marvel Comics epic team up.

“Madame Web” stars Dakota Johnson as Cassandra Webb, a paramedic with future-telling abilities. Sydney Sweeney (“Euphoria“) plays Julia Carpenter, who becomes Spider-Woman in the comics, and actually dons the iconic black and white costume in the film. Celeste O’Connor plays Mattie Franklin, another Spider-Woman. Isabela Merced plays Anya Corazón/Araña, aka Spider-Girl. Tahar Rahim plays Ezekiel Sims, villain, who also wears a pretty interesting spider-suit. Emma Roberts and Adam Scott are also on cast, but their roles are being kept under wraps. SJ Clarkson directs.

It’ll hit theaters February 14th, 2024.