Mister Sparta’s Creature Feature: Review of “Curse of Chucky”

by Mister Sparta, guest reviewer

Hello folks and welcome back to another chilling edition of Mister Sparta’s Creature Feature.  Tonight, it’s time to play as we take a look at Curse of Chucky.  So, sharpen up your knives, snap your overalls, and let’s dive into the killer ginger doll fun.

When I first turned on Curse of Chucky, I was ready for disappointment.  After all, every iconic killer franchise, with few exceptions, has been overplayed to the point where the killer is more comedy than terrifying.  As a kid, Child’s Play scared me. As an adult, Bride of Chucky and Seed of Chucky disappointed me.  So, I had low expectations in Curse.

Boy was I wrong.  This gave me the old Child’s Play creeps almost from the get-go.  Without spoiling too much, I can say that the story revolves around Chucky tying up loose ends as he terrorizes yet another family in tradition Chucky fashion inside a big mansion with a touch of origin story thrown in.  The music helps greatly to heighten the tension and establish the movie’s pacing.  I felt myself drawing closer to the screen every time the tempo quickened only to jump when Chucky popped up and did something.  This didn’t rely on any sight gags or overblown funny spots to get over.  You won’t find any of that shit in this.

Acting-wise, the cast was solid.  Brad Dourif returns as the killer doll and we wouldn’t have it any other way, am I right?  Dourif’s daughter, Fiona, does a decent job of the typical female lead, except she’s in a wheelchair.  Only problem I had with her was that she wasn’t convincing enough when it came to the terror she should have been feeling.  Next time, Fiona, watch some old horror movies and do your goddamn homework.  Be terrified of the killer, not confrontational, at least not at first.  The rest of the cast don’t really matter, as they’re just there for body count and nothing more, so their acting doesn’t even have to be good as long as they can scream when they die.  Also, don’t be surprised if someone else from the original cast pops up in a scene.

But, even a good movie has its moments of bad.  For example, there’s a subplot between the side characters concerning an extra-marital affair.  Now, this movie practically goes out of its way to say “Hey! Hey! Look at the dad and the babysitter! They’re totally fucking and the mom has no idea! Isn’t that cool!” and then it swerves and reveals the babysitter’s affair with the mom while the dad is the one clueless as if to say “Gotcha! It’s the new millennium! Women can fuck women in movies and we don’t mind anymore!” Needless to say, I sat and wondered “I don’t care who’s fucking the babysitter, this has NOTHING to do with the plot of the story!” Seriously, two hot chicks making out and getting half-naked is nice and all, but it does nothing to the story except to bog it down.

Final verdict?  I’m pissed.  I’m pissed off that Universal chose NOT to put this in theaters.  This was too good of a movie to be saddled with a straight-to-DVD handicap.  Get to your local video store, get yourself a copy, and enjoy a throwback to the old-school frights you enjoyed with the first Child’s Play.

Until next time, this is Mister Sparta and—ADE DUE DAMBALLA! GIVE ME THE POWER I BEG OF YOU!

Make sure to check your closet before bed and head on back over to ComicsOnline for everything geek pop culture.  We’ll leave the night light on for you.